Identities and Values

Non-binary/genderfluid: My gender identity exists on a spectrum. I use they/them pronouns.

Queer: I experience sexual and romantic attraction to people across the spectrum.

Relationship Anarchy: Approach to relationships that values connecting with people in ways that are organic and meaningful based on the capacities of everyone involved.

How a connection is expressed (ie. Sexual, romantic, platonic, queer platonic, etc) can be fluid and evolving.

Connections can take many shapes and forms, but will not be considered more important than others based on role, expression type, or length of relationship.

Privileges and Oppressions

Relationships and connecting to others are still subject to the intersects that shape our lived experience:

I am white.
I am middle class.
I am able bodied.
I am neurotypical.

I am queer, non-binary.

I am middle aged.


There is no entitlement to another person’s time,  body or space. I value people for who they are as they are, not the role they have in my life, nor the ways our connections are expressed. 

People are already whole, already enough. 

I am grateful for the connections with folks that share their space and time with me based on our mutual capacities and values.

There is no benefit in a connection that doesn’t involve trust. If there is no space to feel safe with someone, that is not a connection that I want in my life.

Open Communication

While there is always the adage the communication is everything, there can be communication that can be harmful.

I value connections where people can communicate that which brings joy and enthusiasm as well voicing concerns and tough feelings.

I do not wish to form attachments to outcomes and expectations, but rather align with appreciation of what a connection is now and the fluidity that may be.  Conflict and suffering appears when we attach to the notion of what the relationship should be , rather than the reality of what it is and the openness of what it could evolve to.

I wish to make connections that are ever evolving and fluid in nature based on the rhythms of those involved because that is the natural state of our own beings. We are not static and non-changing.

I am drawn to those who exhibit passion not just to those they feel connected to but about life and the possibilities it holds.

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